Post-competition Blues

I stopped updating this blog a few years ago... I never really had the audience and it just took a backseat to the quick posts I could get out via Instagram. 

Recently, I was encouraged to get more content out there. While I’m working on starting my YouTube channel, I figured getting some blogs written would be a great place to start.

I’ve been competing in Strongman for almost a year now and I’ve noticed that after each competition, no matter how I perform, I seem to get the blues. I am lethargic and my depression really seems more prominent than it "usually" is. I was doing some research and I found a few studies of high level athletes (Olympian) who reported similar feelings. When you have an intense high and the adrenaline + dopamine overload of a competition, returning to "normal" neurotransmitter levels can feel like depression; moreover, for somebody who already battles depression, that contrast can feel even more extreme!

So how do we overcome this? Many athletes seem to distract themselves with the next competition on the calendar. While I don’t consider this to be unhealthy, I’m curious what other coping strategies people use!

It may sound weird, but I find tanning can help. If the weather outside doesn’t allow for me to soak up some Vitamin D (boosts serotonin), then I will use a low-level tanning bed to help get those feel-good chemicals going in my brain. Additionally, I get a massage, my nails done... maybe a facial #teatYOself 😁 A little extra self-care goes a long way in pulling me out of the funk. Then setting up my plan for what’s next... always having new goals to set and chase--that’s my game plan!

If you have a post-competition routine, I’d love to hear about it! Comment below.

Reference: Florio, J. "The Dark Side of Going for Gold." TheAtlantic.com . 18 Aug. 2016.

7/29/13 - almost the end of the month!

Well, it's almost the end of the month and I'm looking back at my goals. I can run a mile without walking, but that's the only one I reached. I haven't broken 170 yet (and this week I doubt I will as it's PMS time again and that means I hold water). I didn't do the planking challenge that I set out to be a part of... I have just had so much going on this month that my specific fitness goals haven't been my focus. I mean, fitness is ALWAYS a focus of mine... I've been eating clean and keeping track of intake, but with so much else on my plate, I've been struggling.
So much uncertainty in my life and constant anxiety and fear make it really hard for me to focus on anything really. I mean, I haven't even been on any dates this month LOL got stood up twice and that was probably for the best...clearly my life isn't ready to be shared with anyone else.

8:30a
150 - 1/2 cup oats
100 - greek yogurt
200 - 2 cups natural apple sauce

2:00p
150 - 1/2 cup oats

I REALLY need to go grocery shopping today. I have almost nothing in my fridge because I didn't want to buy produce before I went home for the weekend.

3pm
100 - apple

Bike to/from gym. Legs: warm up, trx single leg squats, ballerina squats, side leg raises, round-the-world lunges, dead lifts, posterior leg raises, hamstring curl, leg extension, glute kickback
Wednesday my gym has free training for membership appreciation, so I got a 3pm with the head trainer. Pretty stoked.

5:30
100 - bag of slaw
0 - mustard & vinegar
70 - 1 tbsp chia seed
25 - roma tomato
140 - 2 Boca burger patties
...it's now 6pm and I haven't finished my dinner. I'm feeling full.

Went for a run... 2.6 miles. Check Nike+ :)

Biked to/from the grocery store...
9:00
140 - York peppermint patty (yeah, saw it when I was checking out and thought, yep, that's what I want LOL)

300 - SO much Artic Zero!! :))
.1480.

where to start

Everyone asks me, where do I start?
How about here? Now?

First thing you need to do is figure out WHY you want to lose weight. Make a list. Fill a whole page if you have to... but then look at your list and pick the 5 things that are the most important.

Take a note card and write those top 5 reasons down.
Now, if you can, laminate this or just use tape or contact paper... but this is now your daily reminder card. Put it in your pocket (not your purse) so you feel it there and you remember to look at it a few times every day. Any time you're tempted to make decisions that you know aren't healthy.

So, I'm share...here are my top 5 (if you have +/- 1 on your list it's ok too, just prioritize):
1. Look & feel good naked
2. More confidence
3. Wear cuter clothes
4. Attract fit guys

For me, I might add #5 "fitness modeling" ... as that is something I might try once I reach my body fat goals. But remember, we're all different. So please don't think that you need to look like ANYONE else! Just be you. Healthy you.


Ok, so, SET A GOAL:
I really advise against setting a number. Instead, set a reasonable size expectation and learn to not focus on just weight as one can easily become obsessed and addicted to weighing in. So... set a goal like "fit in my size 8 jeans without a muffin top" etc...

But if that is your end goal, be sure to set little goals along the way. For example: I started out as a size 16 at my heaviest. My original goal was to fit in a size 10 (now my goal is an 8...if my leg muscles will allow it). But for each size that I dropped, I treated myself to something-- NOT FOOD! Like, a new hand bag, or a pair of shoes (remember, buying new jeans can be a crazy investment that you end up moving past...but hot shoes will always fit hehe)... or maybe it's a pedicure? A massage? TREAT YOURSELF!
Set goals for along your health & fitness journey.
Examples:
1. Go a whole week without chocolate/candy/chips
2. A month without soda
3. A month without wine (this is super hard...I know)
4. 64oz water a day for a week
And GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT when you accomplish them! Seriously... fitness isn't just a short mission... you're changing your life and deciding to live healthier so that the HEALTHY you can shine through.

Ok, more soon...start there. Figure out why you're doing it, and set some goals for yourself. Leave a comment and share your goals if you want! I would love to hear them :)

xxo

Reference: The Beck Diet Solution

4th of July - holiday bust

Yesterday started out strong and then resulted in a bust of a day.
I was keeping track of my calories and even after my 8 mile bike ride to a picnic I was only around 900-100 intake so far for the day and feeling good.

But then I let myself have a drink.
I looked it up to make sure alcohol wouldn't make antibiotics stop working and it doesn't-- alcohol can just cause serious reactions (like sickness and fatigue) when you're on antibiotics. So I had 2 glasses of wine... and then I was around snack foods. My bane. Chips and guacamole. I destroyed that stuff. Burgers without buns, I had 2... yogurt pretzels, potato chips... I didn't seriously binge as there were always people around, but I easily had 3000 calories yesterday.

Busy Friday ahead of me, but gotta get back on track and work my butt off this weekend.

BIG GOALS THIS MONTH and I'm not going to let my poor decisions on the holiday take away from my success!

Transformation/Transition Photos

Ok, so here's a spread... me at my heaviest (215 in 2007), then just about my leanest (from just diet, not working out ~ September 2009)... and where I am now (175+). Sorry I really don't have any photos of where I started in March of this year (196.6)--all the pictures I was taking were "smart angles" :-/
My goal now is to get leaner and show more muscle definition all over (and to balance out my build). I've kept this bathing suit with the sole purpose of taking progress photos.

Here's a face comparison from March to today (sorry, I just snapped a quick one lol)

7/1/13 (July Goals)

It's a new month! Pretty stoked for summer :) Hopefully the rain will stop ruining my fun and it will stay beautiful out for the whole month... ah, wishful ;)

GOALS FOR JULY:
Planking - 5 minute front plank and 3 minutes on each side (current PRs are 2:22 front and 1:01 side)
[check out slambooyfitness.com for the challenge details and follow on Instagram]
Running - run 2 miles without walking [I can do with when I'm with a group, but solo I haven't done a mile yet...hoping my achilles cooperates]
Weight - I would like to get down to 170... I've been up closer to 180 the past few days, but since mid last month I hit 175 I am confident that if I stay focused on my food and drink enough water, I can do this!

So... my kidney infection is still hurting today. If it still hurts by this evening I'll go back to Urgent Care and find out what's going on. This is not fun.
Enough about icky stuff.

9:00a
100 - red delicious apple

10:30a
180 - proats

My heel is still sore, so I'm still waiting on running again... I don't want to risk re-injuring my achilles! But I can go for walks and hit the gym. My body aches and discomfort make these difficult, but I have to tough through. We'll see what the day brings. LOTS of work to do (plus searching for a 2nd job) today...

2:00p
360 - chicken
70 - peas
I needed a caloric meal in there today... definitely going to the gym later and likely for a walk... feeling good about where I am calorie wise so far for the day.

5:00p
Feeling anxious... wish I could just go RUN but my stupid Achilles :( grrrrr endless frustration.
I'm also obsessively thinking about guacamole. I need to eat something to make the cravings go away so I can effectively go shopping and get myself to the gym today.

Went for a 3.1 mile walk, 40 minutes. [- 400 calories]

8:30p
780 - Subway footlong veggie patty sandwich (honey oat, ALL veggies [no onion, no pickle], mustard & vinegar)
holy crap I was starving... scarfed that.

Was pretty torn about getting bread or anything for dinner, but I was SO low for my daily calories and I needed to go grocery shopping [NEVER GO SHOPPING WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY] so I went back and forth with my pseudo-sponsor and decided it was ok. Just making sure my cravings stay under control tonight and tomorrow!

9:30p
180 - pudding :)

Calories

So, my nutritionist told me to go for a goal net calories per day-- taking into account that day's activities and adjusting my calories to make sure I am making up for what I'm losing during various daily workouts etc. But I read a new site and I'm wondering if I should just aim for a certain number every day. No matter what my activity level is for that particular day, but instead averaging my weekly activity level to create a goal.
That would mean no matter what my activity level, I should aim for about 1900 calories every day and stay with that. I'm thinking that with meal prep this could be WAY easier to stay consistent; however, this means that there won't ever be those days where I get to indulge because I worked so hard...
My thought is that this consistent method may benefit me right now while I'm working on building back up will power and control... then once I'm a bit more solid with that, I can add the flexibility back in with aiming for net.

SO... for now... my new goal:
Do something active EVERY DAY (gym/run/bike at LEAST 4, ideally 5)
1900 Calories a day

Here we go!


Want more information about this? CALORIE COUNTER

79

I bit disappointed that the #s aren't changing faster for my weigh-ins. Last time I lost a bunch of weight it felt like every week I was SO pumped because I was seeing the digits decrease... but this time is much slower. It's kind of frustrating but I know I'm doing everything I should be-- I just need to pay more attention to details.

From now on I'll be logging what I eat & my activity as it happens throughout the day, rather than list the activity after the food log. This way I can really look at how I'm laying out my day. I will mark where in the daily layout I finish each litre of water as well... this needs to be a big focus for me as I know I tend to get snack-y when I'm dehydrated.


TODAY.
1 FlatOut flatbread/tortilla
2 Tbs PB
1 Rockstar recovery
-
2 light string cheese
-
Street taco salad: meat from 3 chicken tacos (no tortillas) [I ordered 4 but the old lady working is way more stingy than her husband and gave me significantly less meat than I normally get), lots of lettuce, 1 jalapeno, salsa, 2 Tbs pineapple tidbits, cilantro.

-
1 litre of water
-
1 pear
1/2 litre of water
FiberOne granola bar
-
1/2 turkey club sandwich (no mayo) at Fiddler's Elbow
green salad as my side
1 Epic Amber
1 Full Sail Amber

wednesday weigh-in

Today's weight: 177

PROGRESS!!! :-)
That's 6 pounds down from my start, 2 weeks ago. Definitely a safe rate.
I did feel kind of dehydrated this morning so that could be a bit lower than it should be, but I'm always going to record exactly what my little IKEA scale says on Wednesday mornings. I put it in the same place on my kitchen floor and always have on a tshirt and chonies.

My focus for this next week is going to be to up my water intake. I've been trying to drink at least one litre while I'm at work every day, but even that hasn't been happening every day. So, the goal for the next 7 posts is to record if I drink my daily litre at work... I should try to drink 2 a day, but I do best with small-step goals. 1 first, then eventually 2 =)

how this works

Apparently it is unclear to some people how this 100 day blog is set up.
My first day posting was numbered/titled 100. The title of each post (well, those that are #s) stands for the number of days remaining in my challenge.

Every day I'm posting what I eat.
I initially post my daily log in the morning after I've eaten breakfast and then record the food I have with me for my work day. Throughout the day I edit the food I'm intaking and update the posting time.
If I'm cooking meals, I am going to start sharing recepes and details about nutrition that I have learned over time ~ in hopes of sharing some tasty meal ideas and spreading important nutrition information.

Before the end of the day I make sure that my food logging for the day is totally up-to-date and I also add any activity that was part of my day. I will often include both PLANNED (gym, bike rides, snowboarding etc) and UNPLANNED (parking far away on purpose, taking extra trips with groceries etc) activity to my daily posts.

In addition to all of this, I attempt to add personal goals and outlook on how things are progressing and so forth.
I weigh myself on Wednesday mornings and post that, weekly, entitled Wednesday Weigh In.

My final weigh-in day will be Saturday, July 23rd 2011. That is day ZER0 =)

Hope this helps.

changes

Due to some unforseen changes, the wedding that was the end goal for my personal challenge won't be happening.
However, I have set a goal for myself and I'm going to make it happen. So, small bits of my motivation have changed, but I'm still motivated by my intrinsic need to look my best! I originally thought of myself in comparison to the other women who were standing up in the same wedding party and had the idea of ideally NOT looking 4x their size as part of my motivation. I know I shouldn't compare myself to other people, but my self consciousness has some strong ties to my naturally larger-than-average stature. Therefore, when I do have extra weight on my physical awareness-- of how much larger I am than the average females around me REALLY sticks out even moreso in my eyes. I know full well that to most people, I do not look fat. I do not think of myself as fat. But I do know when I like the way I look in my under garments and when my clothes fit comfortably (and properly).
So now it's just me against myself...as it always has been, really.
The beat goes on =)

honestly shocking

As I have decided to start posting the link to this blog on my facebook and share it via email with friends and loved ones...I've been getting some feedback that I wasn't expecting.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WEIGH OVER 180 POUNDS?!?!?!?!!? OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ADMIT THAT!!

WTF people... really? Is honestly really that shocking? Why is it such a big deal for a woman who is NOT fat to honestly share her weight. If you look back at pictures of me when I was my thinnest, I was 155lbs~ and all those healthy pictures the comments flooded in for, I was 160-165. Yeah, for me, 160-165 looks great. Shocked by that number? How about you step back and think about this for a minute:

The average American adult female is 5'4" and weighs 140lbs and size 14
The average female we see on television is 5'11 and weighs 117lbs...
Though size 14 is average size in the US, it is the least commonly purchaced size of clothing... odd?
Article 1Article 2

I'm open and honest about what I weigh. Most of my life I was made to feel that this NUMBER was something to be ashamed of. I'm not ashamed. I am not a small person. I am a tall, muscular, beautiful woman... and it took me over 20 years to start believing that.
Now that I am back to focusing on getting myself healthy again, I am sharing every thought, calorie, experience and struggle... in hopes that maybe thoughts from friends (or even strangers) will help to keep me motivated and working hard on myself so that I can reach my final goals.
Even if I get zero feedback, no comments... no help... I wanted to keep myself accountable for all of my actions and I set this goal for myself. I couldn't think of a better way to really be accountable than something that others had public access too and I couldn't hide from ~ of course I could LIE, but what's the point?! I have a goal, it will be reached.
Ok, enough rambling... back to work!!

93

Doctor upped my antibiotics schedule to get this crap gone... because it's hella annoying.
To make myself feel a bit better I went to get a haircut, I really needed it. I went to see my girl Bre at LUCID ENDS SALON...I love her. She definitely helped me feel better.
She also recommended I try out this thermowrap body contouring thing that she has been doing as her wedding fast approaches! It's kinda expensive ($89 for 5, 1 hour sessions) but it's a crazy kick start to my body work and it's removing toxins (not just dehydrating)... I'll report back on how I feel about it after I've gone more than this one time. But WOW, I sweat a ton!!

FOOD.
1 light string cheese
2 TBS peanut butter
1 high fiber granola bar
2 cups high fiber cereal
1 cup almond milk
1 rockstar hydrate
4 celery heart stalks w/peanut butter (total 1TBS)

Hmm...didn't eat much today. Weird.

ACTIVITY.
I went to the gym!! 25 minutes on the elliptical and 10 on the treadmill... and a quick first tanning session to start working my skin away from it's current pasty tone. Eeep!

wednesday weigh-in

Today's weight: 183... same as last week =/
I'm ok with this because it's that time of the month and I'm holding water... I also really haven't worked out and I've had a very slow start to this process.
Next week, we WILL see progress!!

94

Another sick day...

1 quart orange juice
2 turkey dog w/veggie wrap
4 cups apple sauce
1 grapefruit
2 granola bars (high fiber)
3 TBLs peanut butter
1 can progresso light soup
1 sweet potato w/spray butter

REALLY don't want to go to work tomorrow... I want to just quit and find some part time work. Ma blew my mind today... she paid off my entire credit card bill and made me put away the card. I have no idea how to thank her. I just need to figure my life out with work because the commute is costing me way too much money with gas and wear on my old car. I need to not only shape up physically, but my life needs reshaping. I need to shape up. Pronto!

95

SICK DAY =(

Well, I went to the doctor and actually got on their very accurate scale :-/ And after my very naughty weekend their scale said 186. Really not that bad. I also just got my period so that means I'm a little heavier than normal anyhow.

But yeah. I'm hella sick. Have strep and some other virus (rapid tests didn't identify) so I'm on antibiotics and pain meds because my tonsil is bleeding and MASSIVE. So, no contact with other people until after noon tomorrow at the earliest...I'm over this sick stuff...

so today my diet was weird. Not really in "meals" so I just sort of ate between movies and naps today.

Apple
Tortilla w/pb
*doctor visit*
sugar free Slurpee (felt SO good on my throat)
ice cream cone from McD (hey, on WW that's only 2 points!! but the cold felt great!)
Progresso light chicken noodle soup - 1 can
2 cups natural (no sugar added) apple sauce
2 bowls high fiber cereal w/almond milk
1 pudding w/fresh blackberries
1 quart orange juice (yeah, it stings)

I'm SUPER happy that this (whatever it is) isn't Mono like the doctor suspected because that would mean I would have a hold up when it comes to working out.
I'm just hoping to get healthy and back on track...

96

What a weekend... all that snowboarding... and the great times at Bike Prom? HAHAHA incredible. The emotional hickup yesterday after a terrible phonecall from a toxic person really put me in a down mood and then I wasn't even thinking about all the crap I was eating. Today I was better... no idea about points. I'm just going to start keeping track of everything I'm eating and not worrying about converting points~ I know when I've eaten too much for a day..

Breakfast.
Gandolfo's sandwich
Unsweatened Tea
Lunch.
Salad w/no oil dressing
Snack.
100 cal popcorn
Dinner.
Salad w/no oil
Apple w/pb
Snack.
Pudding
Tortilla w/PB

Activity.
Snowboarding (2 hours of slush!)
Unplanned Activity.
multiple trips to/from the car with my laundry.

I'm really excited to own a bike now... and to have people who are excited to be active with me. Midge wants to be my guest at the gym and she's already inviting me on mountain biking/camping trips (friends have extra bikes for me since mine is just for around town). I'm pumped to be outside and active this spring and summer!!
165lbs here I come!!!!

97

HOLY BAD FOOD DAY :(

Yeah... so I had 2 BBQs with friends today and ate entirely too much garbage to even keep track of =(

Activity.
SNOWBOARDING (4 hours of park laps in slush).
DANCING (2 hours at Bike Prom).
Unplanned Activity.
Walked to 7-11 to buy firewood.

We all have to have a cheat day right? Eh, wrong... I really shouldn't have eaten that stuff and I'll be making up for it this week when I finally get to the gym!

98

Breakfast.
3 - celery sticks w/PB
Snack.
3 - string cheese
0 - grapefruit
2 - pieces of candy from coworkers**BAD
Lunch.
2 - smartOne
1 - yogurt
Snack.
8 - BAD**Erin's leftover lunch...from Cafe Rio
Dinner.
4 - salad w/a turkey dog and no-oil dressing
1 - carrots
2 - cereal & almond milk
Snack.
1 - yogurt w/blackberries
1 - pudding
TOTAL: 28 =( NAUGHTY

ACTIVITY:
Planned. I went for a bike ride!! (yep, I bought that bike after work)
Unplanned. carrying the bike up and down the stairs twice. Parked REALLY far away on purpose at wallyworld


I ate too much... didn't drink enough water today. I'll make up for it with all the snowboarding and biking planned for this weekend!!

motivation

I'm pretty upset with myself... I have YET to go to this new gym where I bought a membership a month ago. I really do want to work out but every night I get home from work and have no motivation to get back in my car, drive downtown to the gym etc... where can I find this motivation? I need some.
I really do want & need a bike. I may be going to the Bike Collective on Tuesday, but I would really like a bike sooner than that. I might go to wallyworld and just pick up a cruiser for $100 tonight after work. I think having a bike will be motivating for me~ I'd much rather ride my bike around the city than get in my car and spend MORE money on gas!