Soft

Well, I've been struggling with all sorts of stuff lately...and yes, for a bit I was letting myself eat too many cheat foods. When I snapped out of that, I still found myself eating more than I should. I have kept working hard, but as we've all seen on fitspo mems, you can't out run a bad diet! Haha thing is I haven't gone for a run nor an actual cardio day in months! Haha ANYHOW... the stress I've been feeling because of my need for financial and emotional growth has let me get "soft."
Don't worry, I haven't been back sliding. I have overeaten, but kept it clean (still I shouldn't over eat)...but I was looking pretty hard for a while there and I have allowed myself to soften up.
I saw my best friend today after about 2 weeks and his reaction was unexpectedly positive! I mean, I haven't put in a lot (y'all have seen current pics on IG), but he is my "swolemate" and knows me better than anyone right now. Hearing my him simply encourage me to make sure I'm healthy and practicing good eating habits felt really good. He also reminded me to let myself feel good!!! And that, that is SO important.
He's right: when I get dressed and look my best, I radiate more confidence...and when you feel good, you attract more good vibes. Law of attraction! Boom.

So... my focus right now:
Be happy in my own skin.
- Don't freak out about diet
- Stay healthy and eat clean
- Don't sit around in PJs all day (get dressed and done up!)
Chase dreams.
- Get work!!!!
- Keep track of food to stay accountable.
- Heal (my hip needs rest)

So...I'm not freaking out about being softer. I am healthy! I'm letting myself embrace it and feel sexy in my skin!
Good things are going to happen.

Waste

I feel like I have a lot to offer the world. I am talented at many things... yet my whole life I have never been granted the opportunity to really prove myself. I cannot sit in a cubicle or behind another counter doing what any person who finished 8th grade could do. I have greatness within me...and I just need an outlet.
Wasted talent.

I let a whole week go by and I did nothing but workout and space. I'm eating clean and haven't had a drink...though I feel tormented by temptation. My support network is barely existent...and miles away.
If I stopped using social media, how long would it take for anyone to come looking for me? I'm not saying I'm ready to see, but my guess is: long enough.
XXO

Dear Universe,
Help. My dreams are all I have and hope is escaping me. I need gainful employment and to feel like success is possible. Please empower me and direct me to unlocked doors. If these brick walls get any thicker, I'll suffocate. Help.
XXO
Lindsay

focus

Most days I find it really easy to channel whatever emotion I'm feeling into my workouts and blast through; however, there have been a few days over the past week or so when I just feel lost. I catch myself zoning out between sets and blowing it. I'm working on me... of course, I'm working on all sorts of things in my life, but getting my mind right is #1. I have to feel balanced from within.
Now, don't roll your eyes because that was pseudo-cliche... but seriously, I need to focus. There are tasks that MUST be accomplished and they WILL BE. There is no other option. Failure is not falling down, it's refusing to get back up. I'm up. Bring it on.

No Cheat November

I'm swearing off cookies, candy, chips and other baked goodies... til Thanksgiving (since my mom would be pissed if I didn't eat everything at her holiday feasts LOL)... but I'm going to try my damnedest to lay off the cheats this month.
No cookies, chips, candy, donuts, bagels, yogurt pretzels, oreos, or munchies for 3 weeks. This will be a pre-test for how strong I can be once I officially start contest prep after new years-- but even harder since this time of year I feel surrounded and bombarded by temptation and my trigger foods.
Here goes nothing!